negative space

if i survived the abuse,
i must survive the recovery.

the recovery
it's a daily thing,
a yearly thing
like holidays
like birthdays
year by year
the smells are always the same
the feelings are always the same
negative.
negative and empty

i wake up from a half sleep
wake up and decide,
let me live and breathe another day
let me be a mother,
a wife, a sister and a daugther,
maybe even a friend,
i don't do this very well...
a dreamer.
a dreamer of the best dreams ever imagined.

the best me that i can
with all my being