.......

through music, through art, through friendship.. that's how I endured the hardship that was my highschool career. ackwardness and feelings of inadequacy ...it was a everyday thing. it walked me to and from school, making sure I was not left alone.. to myself, to my mind.
undeniable, I sometimes still feel those feelings.. they over take me..lingering..behind my eyes, behind my heart, behind my soul.

this is my outlet.

being a victim of molestation is something that continues haunting me to this day.

i believe it's something that i will never really recover from completely.
by this, i do not mean i am not normal. i can and do live a normal life.
it's just something that i have realized over time... this is part of me.
whether i like it or not, its there. it happened, and i was affected.

by saying that, what i mean is, it's something that stays with you. forever.

ever changing innocence...sometimes catching a glimpse of saturday morning cartoons makes me rememeber the forgotten.... makes me relive it, for a disgusting instance. 

it's been a while.

 this idea of mine has been embedded in my brain for quite a long while now, and in my heart for even longer. i am very unsure of what is going to go on here, but i do have a general idea of what i would like this blog to be and to become.