a case of a childhood impaired by molestation

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


i'm not like you. 
i can't talk, i can't say that it happened
i can't admit it.
i don't want to think about it,
or relive it.

and i totally understand her.
i've been there,
and i didn't like it either.

i understand.

admitting that it happened.
admitting that you are a victim, is beyond hard...
and in my eyes,
one of the hardest things to do.

it was for me.

i used to have guilt.
i used to believe, i was at fault, 
dirty ...anything
just because i didn't understand how anyone normal could ever do that.

how anyone normal?

what i understood later,
was that there is no damn way those people are normal.
they are beyond sick.
they are demented.
and really, 
they never regret it,
they don't even pause and think about all the damage they've done.
basically, they see nothing wrong.
and that's how they go about life.
from one victim to another.


today. she told me.
he molested her too.
and it hurt to hear,
to know.
she is 4 years older than me, 35.
and she could hardly say it.
the words barely slipped her lips. 
and i understood.
the sadness, the guilt.
the hurt.
the years of silence.

i just let her cry.
and i talked.