a case of a childhood impaired by molestation

Monday, February 11, 2013

misunderstanding the judgement

i know sometimes i may be easily misunderstood.
my silence,
my awkwardness,
its just a permanent part of me.
sometimes my actions can be something hard to understand,
i may even make a fool out of myself.
stumbling clumsily around my words
not making myself clear at all times, i know.
and i understand,
you may judge me for it.
and i guess,
i'm sorry for that.
i'm sorry you judge so quickly,
because i without a doubt,
am feeling judged by you.
but i'm okay with that
i guess, in a way i'm use to it.
that doesn't mean i like it, in any sense.
it just means that part of my awkwardness is inevitable
inevitably being use to it.
is slightly unfortunate
this may not make too much sense
and i'm sorry that you can not take the time to understand me
just next time,
try not jumping to huge conclusions,
life is funny,
and it's not always about you,
it's not even always about me.
it's about patience and understanding


1 comment:

  1. Oh, my god, Evelyne. You need to keep writing. You're so in touch.

    Also, I really know what you're talking about. You wouldn't believe how awkward I have sometimes been. It was worst after leaving the bad situation. Gradually, over time, it did get better and, you are right when you say that patience is what it's all about. However, I know that I am still, like you, essentially different from other women who did not go through this. And when I see another woman being awkward in a certaincertain way, I get this perception that, hmmmm, I think she and I have something in common, you know? WOW, I had totally forgotten how awful it used to be for me. Your blog entry here reminded me about all of that as well as some phobic behaviors that were part of it as well. After all's said and done, I'm still glad I'm me and I'm still glad you are you. You're perfect just the way you are.